–In a weird twist of fate, Bob emailed me while I was writing that last post. We’re talking again. I told him I’d be willing to do couples counseling. I’m not sure yet where the relationship is going.
–I’m near the top of the wait list at Sheppard Pratt. They estimate a week or two before they’ll have a spot for me. I’m desperately trying to find someone to take care if Winston while I’m gone.
–I got majorly stressed out at therapy this morning. Annie does sand tray therapy, which is one of the types of therapy I’ve never done. Expressive therapies stress me out because I feel like I’m being watched and judged, and the therapist’s interpretation of what I make might be full of incorrect assumptions about me. I’d rather just talk. Annie wanted me to play with the sand tray, and I couldn’t do it. I was tense, my heart was pounding, and it just made it worse because I was sure she was going to be pissed off if I didn’t do it, even though they never say so. I felt simultaneously like myself and a very frightened child. I don’t like when those parts of me get brought forward.