The Life You Save May Be Your Own

DID, knitting, sci-fi, and strong opinions

The end January 30, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — weordmyndum @ 8:55 pm

I’m done. I’m just fucking done. I really want to go home and kill myself, although I probably won’t.

I shouldn’t feel this bad. I got Winston a new crate, got all my insurance issues sorted out, my foot’s doing better…but I want to die. It makes no sense.

For some reason I just feel completely hopeless. I’m suddenly convinced that Sheppard Pratt can’t help me and my new therapist can’t help me and god knows I can’t help me. I’m too broken and disgusting and unlovable, so I feel this desperate NEED to kill myself.

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7 Responses to “The end”

  1. i wish i knew what to say. i’m so sorry you’re in such pain. you’re life is valuable xo

  2. gypsy116 Says:

    Safe hugs.

  3. You’ve come this far 🙂 I know that doesn’t make it easier but I hope you can somewhere to be safe! Hugs!

  4. Bourbon Says:

    You may feel that SP can’t help you but it doesn’t mean they can’t. I know it’s hard to not see feelings as fact. Warm thoughts if wanted xx

  5. kate1975 Says:

    Sometimes this can happen. It may seem to come out of nowhere, but waiting for weeks to get into Sheppard-Pratt can be a trigger all by itself that makes waiting while you need to be there very difficult, challenging, and triggering. I hope you can be gentle with yourself, you deserve that so much.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

  6. Hold tight, Sara, you’re worth it. I’m sorry things feel so rough. Sending peace. ~Kali


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