Apparently there are no kind, caretaking adults in my system. At least according to whoever was talking to me through my journal.
I guess that means there’s just the damaged kids and the angry or detached teenagers and adults.
I thought DID was supposed to be a self-protective development, so why the hell would I not have developed at least one nurturer? Every other DID system I know of has them. Once again, I’m the freak who does everything wrong.
I try to be kind to the kids, and I guess I do a halfway decent job at least some of the time. But what about when I need someone to be kind to me and take care of me? No one in here is at all interested in the job, and I fail majorly at doing it for myself.
Maybe the reason I feel so alone and unloved in the outside world is that I’m alone and unloved inside.