The Life You Save May Be Your Own

DID, knitting, sci-fi, and strong opinions

Post-Sandy, Mid-Personal Storm October 30, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — weordmyndum @ 1:37 pm
Tags: , ,

Sandy didn’t do much here in Western Mass. Some rain, some wind, but not enough to do any damage.

But my head is a storm over my great aunt. So many voices, so much noise. Need quiet but can’t get it.

I’m the bad daughter. I should be there. Somebody needs to take care of my grandmother. It should be me–I’m the oldest grandchild. But of course I’m doing nothing because I’m an asshole. What kind of granddaughter doesn’t even call? What kind of granddaughter gets mad because nobody asked how she was doing in the storm? My great aunt is DYING, for god’s sake. They’re not supposed to be worrying about me. I should be on a plane back home right now, but I’m not. I’m too selfish. I’m the bad daughter. Bad bad bad.


One Response to “Post-Sandy, Mid-Personal Storm”

  1. sonamsangmu Says:

    I think you need to have some compassion for yourself. You’re having your own struggles and getting on a plane to care for an elderly person isn’t your responsibility-you just think it is b/c you’re the oldest and have an over developed sense of responsibility. You’re NOT bad or selfish. You are trying to cope as well as you can. Just because others can’t necessarily see your distress doesn’t mean it’s not real. Please try to be gentle with yourself. It isn’t your job to take care of your grandmother or great aunt. Likely they do need help but I’m sure there are others who can lend a hand. Don’t beat yourself up! *SAFE HUGS*

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