“Sometimes the test is not to find the answer. It’s to see how you react when you realize there is no answer.”
I think I’m frustrated with therapy because I want answers, and I’m not getting them. I’m not sure whether wanting them is rational or not.
On the one hand, I know it’s irrational to expect my therapist or anyone else to tell me how to fix my life. Nobody can do that. First of all because pat answers don’t work; second of all because I know only I can save myself.
But on the other hand, I don’t think it’s irrational to want to feel like my therapist has some direction or roadmap to help me get better. I don’t want a pat little list of coping skills or something like that; I know that won’t help me. What I want is something along the lines of “First we’ll try A, B, C, and D to get you stabilized. Then we’ll work on breaking down these Rules in your head. That’ll involve dealing with a lot of memories from your past, and we can also use W, X, Y, and Z strategies in conjunction.” I don’t think that’s an unreasonable thing to want from a therapist. I’ve got my Windhorse treatment team helping me figure out real-life stuff, particularly going back to college, but I need to feel like I have an emotional plan in place before I try to go back to school.
Right now I feel like my therapy is directionless. Sometimes that’s been okay–I even valued it because it took pressure off me during some phases of my recovery. But now I’ve got this momentum going in my external life, and I want my internal life to match.
So how do I do that? Is it a fair and reasonable thing to ask from my therapist, and if so, how do I make/let myself ask for it? Or is it something I need to do for myself instead of expecting someone else to do it for me?