The Life You Save May Be Your Own

DID, knitting, sci-fi, and strong opinions

What have I gotten myself into? September 20, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — weordmyndum @ 11:43 pm
Tags: , , , ,

I had an interview today for an internship doing legal research and trial prep for a defense attorney. It’s unpaid, but it’s the kind of thing that will look good on my resume and applications for undergrad and law school.

The interview went really well, and he offered me the job on the spot. He asked me to come observe/take notes on a discovery motion tomorrow.

For a rape case. Defending a cop.

Sound familiar? Yeah, it did to me too. Uncannily similar to my story, though I know it won’t actually be my father.

I told the attorney I would come.

I think partly I said yes because I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t handle it, and partly because I didn’t want to think I couldn’t handle it. And some of it may just be my familiar masochistic tendencies.

For all I know, the cop really could be innocent. It surprises me that I am able and willing to consider that as a possibility. After all, my heart still races every time I see a cop or a squad car. But as the lawyer was telling me about the case, I didn’t assume the cop was guilty. It wasn’t until later I realized how remarkable that was, given my history.

I do have some ethical qualms in that I’ve always considered myself someone who would side with the victim. I know the statistics: very few people make false rape allegations. But I also know the importance of a vigorous defense. We’ve all seen the stories where DNA evidence exonerates a prisoner after 20 years on death row and so forth.

I really have no idea what I’m getting myself into. If it gets too bad, I can always leave. For instance, I don’t think I could handle it if my boss were bullying the victim on the stand. But I’m going to try it, if for no other reason than to test my ability to cope with it. Tomorrow will just be an evidentiary hearing, so probably not as intense as the actual trial. But he did say ther “could be fireworks.”

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11 Responses to “What have I gotten myself into?”

  1. brandic32 Says:

    Wow, that does seem a bit uncanny…

    “If it gets too bad, I can always leave. For instance, I don’t think I could handle it if my boss were bullying the victim on the stand. But I’m going to try it, if for no other reason than to test my ability to cope with it.”

    This all sounds good. It sounds like you are going in with a level head, and are ready to continue assessing and gauging your thoughts/feelings as it goes along. I’m glad you are being cautious. And at the same time, not overly cautious to the point of not even considering doing it at all.

    Looking forward to hearing more as it goes along.x

  2. Bourbon Says:

    Well, I’m glad that you can recognise that if it is too hard you can and will leave. You are stretching your legs. Testing the ground. I think its very brave. But also very wise to listen very closely to yourselves whilst it is all going on and be alert to any signs of it being too much. I know you will do whatever is best for you. Good luck xx

  3. Congratulations on the internship! It sounds like a great opportunity. I hope you can stay in check and honest with yourself – it does sound like a pretty intense job to be involved in. Don’t push yourself to the edge if things become too much… totally not worth it. But having said that, I wish you well & really hope it works out for you 🙂

  4. Grainne Says:

    Thinking of this…and you today. I hope things are gong well. xo

  5. Neloran Says:

    I am wondering how the hearing went. Practice alot of self-care and be good to yourself!

    -Nel

    • weordmyndum Says:

      Went well. My boss and the prosecutor agreed on all the motions while we were waiting for the judge, so no legal arguing or anything. If I can reschedule an appointment, I’m going to observe arguments in a drunk driving case on Tuesday, and I’m writing a motion for it all by myself! I mean, I’m sure my boss will look over it to make sure I did it right, but it’s still kinda exciting.

  6. I’m also happy things went well. Writing a motion does sound pretty exciting. 🙂

  7. ligeandcrew Says:

    Oh my God you don’t know how…what’s the word….amazing you are ?
    That’s an overused word, but it fits. Because I’m amazed.
    I wish I could do even a smidgen of that. – Dodge.

  8. Grainne Says:

    😀 I came back to see if there was an update in your comments for this post. Glad to hear things went well!! Really glad!


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