I–or somebody here–have been having these partial flashbacks. I don’t even know if that’s a real thing…just don’t know what else to call it. It’s like a freeze-frame memory–not the whole thing, just one moment, frozen, with us stuck reliving it over and over. And it’s not just the visual–I can feel it, too.
I keep feeling it–like I’m choking, like I can’t breathe. I keep throwing up and I don’t mean to–it’s not on purpose, and I’m not sick. Just…stuck, reliving this one moment, this one feeling…no way to make it stop.
I don’t want to be here–want it to be someone else’s turn–want to disappear somewhere inside that I can’t feel anything. But…I’m stuck. I’m not even all the way here really. Floating–only partly connected to the body. Wish I could just float away–not feel anything. Should probably be trying grounding skills but I don’t want to–then I’d feel it even more. Don’t want to. Just want to stop it–want to get unfrozen. How do I make this stop?