It went really well with NT1.0 today. Just on a gut level, I felt so much safer and more relaxed with her than I ever did with NT2.0. She remembered a lot of stuff about my life even though I only met with her twice, months ago. She also has a sense of humor, and doesn’t hesitate to drop in swear words, which are both things I like–I can’t have a therapist I feel the need to censor myself around. She seemed more grounded and down to earth and just…human.
She commented on my scars. I’d forgotten she’d never seen them–it was the dead of winter when I saw her before. But it wasn’t an interrogation about the scars, which was good. She asked if I’d get rid of them if I could, and I told her yes. I don’t really cover them up anymore, but I’m not one of those people who sees them as battle scars or whatever–I know that works for some people, but I find it really hokey and kind of minimizing.
She was really happy when I told her about the MTHFR polymorphism and the L-methylfolate curing my depression–her response was, “Oh my god, that the best news I’ve heard in months!” Yeah, me too. But I liked that I didn’t have to explain to her that the depression being gone didn’t mean the trauma stuff was gone. She just got that intuitively, which is good. Since the depression went away, I’ve felt kind of guilty for still needing treatment–like I’m a fake or something. I was worried she might think that too, so it was reassuring that she didn’t.
She also thought Winston was adorable, so that automatically gets her points.
I’m really, REALLY happy it went so well.