I feel pretty crappy right now.
It was the dream. I’ve been off all day because of it, and I feel hella stupid for being this upset about it. It’s just a dream. I’ve had a lot that were way worse than this, so why can I not just get the hell over it?
I’ve been starting knitting projects and ripping them out all day, not because I messed up the pattern but because I just hate everything that I make. It’s never good enough. It’s never right. This is a thing I do when I get upset.
I’ve been in tears off and on all day. I know probably a lot of this is hormonal (mine have been even weirder than normal this month), but it doesn’t make it feel any less real. I just feel so alone. I want somebody to hug me and sit with me and make me feel better, but there’s no one. I mean, I could probably call someone on my team and ask them to come, but it’s not anywhere close to an emergency. Plus, it’s kind of pathetic that I have to pay people to get them to care and be there for me.
I’m really grateful for my internet friends, I am. But sometimes I just want someone to be emotionally AND physically present.