I am very frustrated with the therapist search.
New Therapist hasn’t called to say whether/when she’ll be back at work, and she’d said she’d let me know at the beginning of March. I did call and leave her a voicemail today, but I assume that not hearing from her means she’s not back at work. I’m frustrated at that, and then I feel like a jerk because she has some major medical issue.
So now I’m back to cold calling therapists. It’s hard to find someone who takes Medicare and MassHealth. And nobody picks up their phones, so it turns out to be a lot of telephone tag. I really NEED someone who knows what they’re doing with trauma stuff!
In other news, I’m very sore from kung fu last week. I am sore in places I didn’t know I had muscles. But it’s good, though. Means the muscles still know how to work after 2 years of being mostly sedentary. I need to get back in shape, and I’ve always been bored with running or stationary bikes. Doing martial arts isn’t boring, so I’m motivated to do it. I really liked this dojo and the instructor–he seemed knowledgeable about working around back injuries. So I’ll be sticking with this dojo. There’s another class tomorrow night, and I hope some of the soreness will go away by then.
I have to figure out what to do about my scars, though. They’re visible if I’m not covered to my wrists and ankles. When I was studying karate in college, it wasn’t a problem because we trained in gis with long sleeves. But at this dojo, they all seem to work out in gi pants and t-shirts. The instructor said I could lose the gi top, and I made some conspicuously lame excuse for not taking it off. I haven’t had to worry about covering my scars much for the past 4 years because I’ve been in psych treatment the whole time, where people don’t freak out so much about very visible scars. Part of me wants to just make some stupid excuse for not wearing short sleeves, but part of me just wants to get it over with and let them see so nobody will freak out come summer when it’s too hot for long sleeves.
Ugh, I don’t know. But I need to figure it out by tomorrow.