The Life You Save May Be Your Own

DID, knitting, sci-fi, and strong opinions

no, this is not a test February 20, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — weordmyndum @ 5:20 am
Tags: , ,

I miss Kelsey.

She died 2 and a half years ago.  Too long with an eating disorder; her heart just stopped.  Housemate and I went to her parents’ house this weekend, and I brought a stack of CD’s for the drive without looking at what I grabbed.  On the way back tonight, Housemate grabbed a random CD and stuck it in.  It was a mix Kelsey made for me.  It says: “For my future wifey!  ILU!!!”

God, she was so fucking amazing.  I don’t think I could’ve made it through high school without her and Helen, my other best friend.  Hell, I don’t think any of us were sure we would make it through, what with our desperate clinging to self-destruction.  She saved me.  We saved each other, all three of us.

And now she’s gone, and I sat in the car listening to her CD and trying not to cry.  I want to cut, and I don’t even know why.  I’m not going to–Kelsey would kick my ass if she found out.  I don’t put it past her to come back from the dead just to kick my ass.

I just really fucking miss her.  I don’t have any friends anymore, not in the “real world.”  I would love to have just one friend like her.


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