I’ve been working a lot on figuring out my system. It’s weird and confusing. There seems to be an internal structure that I don’t understand. Basically, there is the front, like a door. I-Sara am almost always there. Behind the door, there’s a big wheel-like thing. There are several smaller wheels on the big wheel. Each of the smaller wheels is a subsystem of alters. Turning the big wheel changes which subsystem is nearest to the front/the door, and turning the smaller wheel changes which individual person is front. It seems to be fairly easy for the small wheels to turn; we can switch fairly easily and quickly between people within each subsystem. There also appears to be a common memory bank for each subsystem, so people within each subsystem know what others have been doing. But there doesn’t appear to be any communication between the different subsystems. I don’t even know how many subsystems there are.
As far as I know, the first split happened at age three. How could I, as a small child, have been organized and smart enough to organize my system this way? I’m not entirely sure I believe all of it. I don’t know.